I had a really wonderful dream last night.
In it, I was in this kind of oppressive, authoritarian school which had kidnapped two children, and was holding them against their will. I was part of a small minority group of employees of the school who was trying to undermine and dismantle the school's authority, and as part of this, we decided to help the two children escape. The one child was a boy, like somewhere around ages 5-8, and was more able to fend for himself but the other was like a toddler, a girl, and she had a caregiver. Thankfully, we were able to get the caregiver in on our plan and she decided to help us.
We had this elaborate plan with multiple stages and like sneaking through different parts of the buidling to get the children out without anyone noticing, and we also took measures to ensure that we could go as long as possible before the school authorities would detect that either child was missing.
I and this one other girl who had been helping out, also left the school after the plan, because there would be evidence that it was us, as soon as it was found that the children were missing, and we both wanted out of that environment anyway.
So like, we carried out the whole plan and I don't remember all the details, that part of the dream was a little blurry, but it was like, really scary and complex and it didn't go exactly as planned, like I remember at one point we were hiding in this one women's room, me, the toddler, and the caregiver, and we couldn't go out the front door of the restroom for some reason, I think there were people in the hallways, and the windows in the bathroom were small and high up so we couldn't get out those either. The child's caregiver turned out to be super creative and resourceful, she ended up improvising a lot and had thought of things that we didn't even think of in our plan. We ended up escaping because there was a janitor's closet that attached to both the women's and men's room and the one side was unlocked but the other locked but somehow we got someone to unlock it from the men's side and then we escaped through there. I don't remember details but at some point the caregiver and the toddler went their separate ways.
At the end of the dream I was outside the school with the other girl who had been one of the key masterminds of the whole project, and we were walking calmly in the night, along the street in front of the school. We weren't feeling the need to sneak or hide at this point because the children were both safely away with other people, and the whole plan hadn't been detected yet. And we were talking quietly about what we had done and like, we were talking about how happy we were that we had been able to carry out the plan, that it was so intelligent and well-executed, and that we improvised successfully when we had problems, and that the younger child's caregiver had been super supportive and also intelligent, and it was great we had had so much support from other people. And we were also basking in the fact that the school hadn't yet detected that anyone was missing or that anythign was going on, and we were wondering just how long it was going to take...we figured that they would probably know that at least one child was missing by the end of the night, but that we had taken so many precautions, including like setting up activities in the older child's schedule, and misinforming key people to make it look like he was still there, long after he had left, so there would be a chance we could go even longer without being detected. And the caregiver had actually set something clever up so that it would look like she and the toddler were still in the room, like there was this window that was blurry and if you saw it from a distance it would look like they were inside and you'd have to come like, inside the room and go close up to see that it was like fake and was just a picture.
And we were talking about all this and kinda congratulating ourselves and I realized I was kind of falling in love with her and I looked over at her and she looked so pretty and I really wanted to kiss her and I told her that and she's like: "OMG I want that so bad right now" and it was funny because I wasn't expecting her to say that exact thing and it was this expression of desire that I found really exciting and endearing all at the same time.
I don't think we actually kissed though, I just woke up with this really good feeling, like a feeling of accomplishment and of of feeling and being capable and being surrounded by intelligent people that I'm working together with, and everything feeling right in my life.
I had epic dreams last night. They touch on a whole different things that I've been thinking about lately, and a lot of things that I haven't been consciously aware of thinking of.
The basic common theme or plot of the dream was that I had joined the army, and been sent to somewhere in Africa (although it was not explicitly stated in the dream it would make sense that it was Nigeria) where there was a lot of conflict between different militant groups. But I was developing technology and cultural systems that would allow us to shut down the militant groups and stop the conflict, without having to use violence.
We were doing this with smartphones that tapped into intelligence and information we had about the militant groups, and gave individual people instructions of small, simple actions they could do that would make things more difficult for the militant groups. But it was totally decentralized, and based on AI, so the militant groups would get minimal benefit by killing individual people. Furthermore, we were developing a constructed language that used ideograms, like chinese, so people who seized the phones wouldn't be able to understand what was going on. But the language also had a way of thinking that communicated values that would undermine the militant groups' ideology. So the idea was that if someone tried to learn the language in order to crack the code, in order to think in and understand the language, it would shape their thinking in a way that would move away from the ideologies of the militant groups.
So...we were somewhere in the middle of developing this whole system, and we were in a small group of military personnel in an area with a lot of indigenous people, a good distance from the areas where there was fighting and violence, and the people were really friendly, and there was some sort of local holiday that had spiritual significance in their traditional culture, and that involved a big feast, and they had made a huge amount of food and invited us to it.
And we were getting ready to eat, and I started asking them about the festival, it was connected to the Yoruba religion, and I recalled that I had had a vision some time before I had joined the army, involving Yemoja. Unfortunately, while I remembered what the vision was in the dream, I don't remember what it was now.
However, I remember the setting in which I had had the vision. It was set earlier in time than the dream, and I was in some sort of big city somewhere, on another continent I think, and the city had a steep hill and multiple layers of plazas with bright white tiles and pretty buildings. I don't remember exactly what I was doing in this city but I was high up on one of the plazas on the higher level near the top of the hill when it happened.
There is another part of the dream that was also equally detailed. I don't remember chronologically how they fit together in terms of experiencing them in the dream, but in the dream time it was the time right before I joined the army, like I had shown up for the beginning of training. But it wasn't what you'd expect basic training to be, it was in this big maze of a building that looked like a corporate office park or an airport, with long corridors going in different directions, and tall glass windows. Unlike an airport it had a lot of elevators and multiple levels, but like an airport there were a ton of people going in different directions. In this building I was surprised to find a gender neutral bathroom that was a large, open public restroom, and I walked in and was surprised to see women and men using the restroom.
I went to use the urinal, and I noticed there was a woman standing next to me using the urinal next to me (this didn't seem strange). She started talking to me (which also didn't seem strange) and somehow this brought up like, some side-plot or past story...it was like I started telling her a story about something that had happened earlier. I wasn't sure whether this had happened before or after the image of Yemoja.
In this other story, I had been in a house somewhere...it was a very dark, dimly lit interior, and the walls were drab and dirty. I think there were a couple guys in the house. And at one point I was standing next to this door, and this strange monster somehow slid under the door, without opening it or damaging it in any way, and when it came out it was huge and looked very threatening. The thing is, I don't remember what happened after this point, and I think it was like, the conversation with the woman ended without me actually telling her how the story resolved.
So like, in this building, there were people that I was talking to whom I knew, and I was telling them about how I had decided to join the army, that it was not something I would normally consider doing, but they had come specifically to me, to recruit me, because I had unique skills that they wanted to use for something very special, and like, when I listened to the recruiter, I was convinced and I decided to join.
But I felt out of place with all the new recruits. I was waiting in line, clustered around an elevator, and talking to a bunch of them, and they were mostly much rougher and more physically robust people than I was. Also, some of them were voicing sexist and misogynistic ideas, which I associated with low-grade bullying when I had been younger. It seemed immature and I didn't want to be around it. Then there were two people who started fighting, but not maliciously, they were just sparring. But a third person came up and started taunting them or insulting them in an aggressive and disrespectful way. I don't remember exactly what happened, but the third person had a taser and tased one of the people who was fighting, and then I was speaking up against them doing it, and they were all like saying that I couldn't do anything about it because they were higher ranked than me. And I was like, I haven't even started yet, we're just waiting in line to go in, and I haven't even received any instructions about how rank works yet, or who I have to listen to and when, so I'm going to speak out against behavior I think is bad if I want to. And I think your behavior is bad. And then the person tased me.
That's the last memory I have from that part of the dream.
So, then I have this memory of being back at the feast that was about to happen, and the people had been super friendlly, but they were somewhat skeptical when I told them about the vision I had had. And I was like, thinking, what can I do that would show them that I'm being sincere? And then I remembered (as I often do in dreams), "I'm a wizard!" so I cast three magic spells and they all produced visible effects.
The rest of the dream is fuzzy and disjoint but I think it involved a conversation about the magic spells that I had used.
However, there was one snippit in the dream that I sort of remember a glimpse of...and it may have been in the conversation about magic...or it may have been some sort of vision or something. Like but I have this memory of being somewhere and I think Yemoja was there and there were several people and then there was a third figure and suddenly I recognized the figure as the monster that had come under the door in the story I had told the woman in the restroom. But the figure was more complete and I felt safer looking at it and I felt like everything was right.
I don't know what this meant and I didn't know what it meant in the dream but I remember that there was a very powerful feeling, like it was a feeling of making sense of past experiences that had been scary or traumatic, like a sense of things having meaning and coming together in a purposeful way.
I think this was the end of the dream.
I'm really not sure what to think about these dreams, but there are definitely some themes that I've been thinking about a lot, like being surrounded by a culture that I feel I don't agree with in a lot of ways, and that seems immature to me, and like the question of obeying authority and not knowing who to obey and choosing to take my own path and act defiantly even if I am low in status or authority or outgunned (everyone being stronger than me, and the person having a taser), even it leads to negative consequences. But the dream was also rich with signs of hope and progress, like the unexpected gender-neutral restroom, and the whole idea / theme of the dream, in that we were finding a way to stop violence, and we really believed that it was going to work, and then the goodwill and the generosity of the people who invited us to the feast.
Our culture was part of a broader culture that encompassed other communities quite far away.
There was some sort of plot to the dream, but I don't remember what it was. But I remember one part of the dream in which I was in a group of people trying to use our boats in the open ocean, where the waves were bigger, and they didn't work well. The bigger waves kept flipping them over, and the water was cold and it was stressing us out.
So like, we ended up traveling to this community of people who were sort of part of our broader culture but a distinct local culture, who lived closer to the open ocean, and traveled longer distances where the islands were more spaced out, and were the waves were bigger, and we found that their boats looked vaguely similar to ours but had a different design. They were bulkier and they had a somewhat different shape, with a lot of little details on it that I didn't immediately understand the purpose of, and the paddles were different. I tried one in the open ocean with the big waves, and they were very stable. I was able to ride it in really rough surf without flipping.
And I feel like when I experienced this, I got a sort of deep sense of like, the connection of each local culture to the individual environment they lived in. And then like, I felt this desire to travel and explore the other communities that were part of our broader culture, because they were separated and we didn't have much contact with each other, but I heard that farther west along the coastline, there was like, a big city inland where there was a river, and I wanted to travel there and see what kind of boat building traditions the people there had, because I wanted to learn more about these traditions, and how they related to the environments in which people lived.
I had a dream last night that I was moving from Jenkintown to Delaware. In the dream, I had lived in Jenkintown a second time, and was moving back to Delaware yet again, which I know because I had memories in the dream of my past move.
I was in a cafe with people and I suddenly had this shocked realization that my move date was only a week away and I hadn't yet reserved a truck.
I also hadn't actually seen my apartment yet, but I had this really deep trust that it was a really beautiful apartment. I then went over to view it, because I wanted to see what it looked like before I actually moved. I asked the landlord about whether or not it was hard to move stuff in because of the stairs, and he said it actually was, that the stairs were a little narrow, and that made me nervous, but he said the apartment itself was spacious. When I saw it I was relieved and really happy. It was a beautiful apartment on the second floor of a house, it was full of windows and surrounded by trees and felt perfect. Like I felt so excited and happy about living there. I don't remember who my roommate was but I had one roommate who was a girl but it wasn't a girlfriend or anything. The kitchen was very bright blue, and was really big. The ceilings were a little low but not too low and it made it cozy. There was soft fuzzy carpet in most rooms. I loved the apartment so much. I imagined myself inviting people over to play board games, or sprawled out on the floor reading something or doing some sort of work. There was a peaceful quality of the apartment that reminded me of my first apartment in Delaware, on Benny Street, but it was much nicer and bigger.
Most of the windows looked out on lush trees, but the one window in the room I was probably going to take as my bedroom, looked out onto a graveyard that had been turned into a parking lot. It was weird because there were little islands of land with graves on them but most of it had just been paved over. Behind the lot / graveyard was a stream, and this area was part of a college campus.
And when I went out in the yard, there was an altercation, I don't remember how it started, but campus police were crossing the stream and one of the cops had a prosthetic leg, and was wading through the stream but the bottom was rocky so he was being cautious because he wasn't quite as agile because of his leg. And something happened that I didn't see, on the other side of the stream, and it turned into a riot, and campus police were tazing people. I wasn't near the riot but I watched it from a distance, but as it started to get bigger I backed off and I was kinda running away from it, and then a cop saw me running away, and came up to me and said I looked suspicious and was interrogating me, and I was trying to explain that I hadn't been anywhere near the riot, I had just gotten scared and wanted to get away from it, and he didn't seem to be believing me.
I'm not 100% sure what this dream means. I think a lot of the feelings and occurrences are things that echo my experience of my recent actual move to Delaware, like the uncertainty about not seeing the apartment, but knowing and trusting that I was really going to love the apartment. And the sorts of things I imagined are sorts of things I would do and have been doing here in Delaware, even though the place isn't carpeted. I think the apartment itself actually is inspired by my old apartment on Benny street because it's so similar with the surrounding windows and the view of trees, the fuzzy carpet, and low ceilings with a cozy feel. But the kitchen was something different.
The blue color of the kitchen really popped out and was almost a bit too much for me but I liked the kitchen and the apartment so much that it caused me to perceive the apartment as cheerful. I think this is symbolic of something deep about my personality. I think I have come to realize that in order to be fully myself and be happy, I need to let this sort of cheerful person inside me come out, and it's something that I maybe still have some reservations about. It's like, I think I was socially conditioned when I was younger and still receive some social conditioning in our society to act "cool" and not express beyond a certain level of enthusiasm. Like I think this is associated partly with masculinity and partly with adulthood, two norms I've been pretty strongly rejecting lately, but not without apprehension or hesitation. So I think the kitchen represents these things in my dreams. The bright color I think is prominently connected to these things because I've bought a lot of brightly-colored socks lately, which I think is a bridge between the tangible color and abstract concepts.
The graveyard and parking lot I think symbolizes something deep I feel about our society. To interpret this part I want to first explain what parking lots and graveyards mean or symbolize to me. I hate parking lots and I tend to see or think of them as symbolic of car use and resource consumption. I've had a parking lot out my window, and it's something I dislike, a view I don't want. Graveyards are something I feel complex about. I also, honestly, don't like them, and I also see them as unsustainable (because you can't keep taking up land for bodies because people keep dying), and I think about sustainable burial practices a lot and most graveyards are really far from them. But graveyards are also something that I think tends to be viewed as holy or sacred or worthy of protection, in our society. So I think that the fact that I saw these two things out the window, symbolizes how our society has been expanding economically, in unsustainable ways, but it also demonstrates the conflict in our society--that some aspects of our society (like the economic growth and resource usage, i.e. the parking lot) are infringing on others we consider holy or sacred (the graveyard). I also think the graveyard becoming smaller symbolizes how I see the influence of religion weakening greatly in our society. I also think that the feelings I had towards the graveyard were similar to the feelings I have towards religion...on some level I really want / appreciate it and even enjoyed seeing it out my window. But on some other level it's done in a way I don't like or want and so I don't feel very good about it. (Whether it's the burial practices, or how organized religion works.)
The last part of the dream, I'm not sure exactly what it means. When the campus cop goes to cross the stream and I realize he has a prosthetic leg just as he's about to cross or wade through the stream, I think this may emphasize how there can be things about people that we don't know. I think it symbolizes both how people might have something we consider a "handicap" yet can still function at a very high level (how the cop was running in an athletic way without me even noticing) but also how people might have actual handicaps that don't necessarily come out until a specific setting (like the cop had trouble wading across the stream because it was dark and the bottom surface was uneven and you don't get the same kind of feedback through a prosthetic leg as an actual foot).
The very last part of it I don't know how to interpret, but I think it has something to do with how confidence and nervousness influences people's interactions with you. In the dream, I was running away from the riot, and nervous when the cop approached, and he seemed to assume or conclude that I had probably been involved in the riot or had been doing something wrong. When I repeatedly asserted that I hadn't been involved and was just watching it from a distance and hadn't been doing anything wrong, he didn't seem to believe me.
I think that this exchange highlights a very real fear I feel sometimes when getting involved in various activities that are on the fringe of legality or ethics, things like protests. On the one hand, I am curious about what is going on, and I often want to even engage with the activity, often ESPECIALLY if I don't agree with what people are doing, because I want to influence them in as positive a way as possible. But I'm afraid of being caught with the people and found guilty by association. In real life, I actually clear out of protest situations WAAAY before any sort of confrontation with police happens...like at the first sign that there might be trouble in the future, I usually completely remove myself. I also think though that this fear exists in a much more broad or abstract sense. For example, I like to participate in online communities where I don't agree with people, and I'm afraid sometimes of people "damning me by association", and this actually happened recently in a feminist subreddit where the one moderator banned me for merely participating in a particular other subreddit.
So yeah, that's that dream. I think it connects to a lot of different things that I've been thinking about recently.
I don't remember the early part of the dream, but there was a whole long and prolonged part of it that involved travel, coordinating things with a lot of people, and all sorts of other stuff. There were parts that involved trains and public transportation, and I think at one point being on a bike, at one point I think being at a gas station, and a restaurant. I don't remember these parts much at all.
But like...at some point in the dream, I was in this building, fairly high up, and next to the shore, and from this point on the dream is much more vivid and clear in my memory. It wasn't right on the ocean, but like, the water out the window was a bay or large cove, but I was in a medium-sized city. The dream was set in a sort of dystopian society, one in which the power structures were a good bit more corrupt and coercive than the ones in our society.
In the dream, I was in a room with a university professor and a bunch of other people. There was a large window that overlooked the water, and a few of my friends and I (not the professor) were looking out the window and talking about the water. I pointed out that the water was actually much shallower than most people realized. I asked people to estimate how deep it was, and people guessed things like "12 feet". I honestly thought the water was around 2-3 feet deep. I was like--just wait and watch, if we see someone go in the water, you'll see how shallow it is.
We were all surprised when someone drove his truck in the water and it proved only to be around 6 inches deep...and the truck (a pickup truck) drove quite a ways out into the water. Even I was shocked...I knew that the water was shallower than it looked and than most people thought, but I didn't know that it was shallow, and furthermore I didn't realize how far out into the bay, the shalllow region went. But it was clear that it didn't go the whole way out because there were larger boats and things just a ways beyond where the truck had stopped driving.
We were talking about the point at which the water stopped, and then we noticed that there was like, a stairway coming up out of the water (how the physics of this works, I have no idea, it was a dream and didn't make sense), and people were coming up the stairway and walking across the water to the land. The people were all dressed up in fairly spiffy clothing, and they looked like wealthy people at some sort of reception. We started talking and apparently the people were wealthy donors of the university.
We went back into the room, and the professor was there. I had a strong dislike for the professor; I didn't trust him. He was in a position of power and authority in the university, and I tended to strongly distrust people in positions of power in the society in the dream, because they tended to only be able to stay in these positions by doing things that went against my values. The professor started talking and I don't remember exactly what he said, but he was expressing ideas that I really strongly objected to, like about being competitive academically, and doing things to rise to the top.
There were some parts that I don't remember (I wish I remembered them because I think they contained some nuance of interaction between me and the professor that had some depth), and at some point the dream shifted, and I was with a different person, a female professor, another woman, and several of my friends who had been in the other part of the dream. We were in a more rural area, farther from big cities, and we were out in the woods on an unpaved path. I found some plants that I had planted, and I was looking at them and wondering if I had planted them too close together.
The one woman and the professor were arguing, I don't remember exactly what they were arguing about, but there was a great deal of angst and tension between them. I had the distinct feeling that there was some sort of tension or disagreement that went deeper than what they were expressing.
We all walked into this building...it was sort of like a small cabin, much more minimal than the fancy buildings we had been in the city in the beginning of the dream. The ceiling was low and it was darker but sort of cozy and homey feeling, some wood from the walls was showing in a dark color, and some had been painted white.
The one woman said that she didn't want to be out here in the woods, that she found people in these remote rural areas to be racist and bigoted, and she said that if the professor was going to stay out here, then she'd leave, and she'd just go back to the city where she wanted to be. They started arguing in a more heated way, and at one point the professor suddenly yelled out that she had this specific neurological disability, I don't remember the name but it was one that doesn't exist in real life, but it was something that was moderately debilitating and would be a fair amount of work to overcome and live a normal life.
But then she held this rod up to beside her face and like the woman was looking at her, and then she started to levitate the rod with her mind, and it becames apparent that she also had powers of telekinesis. And then the other woman, it became apparent, also had these powers, and with her mind, she took control of the rod and began spinning it.
There was a sort of dance of this rod spinning and whirling about in really impressive, coordinated ways. It seemed though that the professor, who was older, had much greater and more impressive powers of telekinesis than the other.
And the two women sort of looked at each other with these wowed expressions, and like, they didn't say anything but I think there was like this sort of understanding between them that all the stuff they had been talking about was somewhat inconsequential, because like, having telekinesis is like really unusual and a big deal, and like, the woman who had been complaining about being in a rural area and away from the city, didn't complain about it any more, because like...it didn't matter, she wanted to learn about her powers from this other woman.
That was the end of the dream. It was exceptionally vivid though, I remembered so much vivid imagery from it when I awoke.
I think that the keys in my pocket symbolize how I feel like I've been given a lot of resources and talents in life, and how I'm juggling all the stuff I'm carrying and trying to fumble for the keys symbolizes how I have felt a little overwhelmed lately, with trying to do so many things in my life.
I think the unusual structure of the building, which didn't seem to make much sense to me, symbolizes how the structure of our society doesn't seem to make much sense. I think the man in the room with the stairwell symbolizes how there are a lot of people who are very friendly and supportive of me in my life.
The front room, where the Why This Way meeting was happening, I think symbolizes how I feel about Why This Way. It was a comfortable room with natural lighting but it was also rather plain. I think this makes sense because I think there is something very natural about Why This Way, but the group is also very minimal right now, operating out of people's homes and public spaces, with minimal resources. I also think that the fact that it was a New Church building in the dream may symbolize how I've been coming to realize that the New Church's value system has actually influenced Why This Way in profound ways...which is interesting because when we founded the group I had a sort of impression (and to some degree worry) that it was "my idea" more than I was comfortable with.
I'm not quite sure what the hang glider incident means...it could be strictly accidental (perhaps because I've seen a bald eagle two of the days this past week, which is a little unusual), but it almost reminds me a bit of the debt ceiling...the fact that the eagle is the national symbol of the U.S. seemed to imply that a bit...and the fact that it looked like the glider was going to hit us, but it didn't...seems to fit with the way the debt ceiling was raised at the last minute. At the same time, the fact that the glider did crash seems to echo some of the conversations I've had lately with my friends about the national debt...that the US still has a major problem that they haven't solved.
These are just some guesses...but they seem to fit when I think about them.
In it, I was going to a Why This Way meeting that was hosted in a building that was owned by the New Church (the organization based in Bryn Athyn). I had a key to the building, and the building was very peculiarly structured.
I walked in an entryway, which was not locked, and it was a large, open stone room that was about 2 stories high. There was a stone staircase that led up to a doorway, which was locked.
I reached in my pocket for the key, and the key was unfortunately not on a keychain; I pulled three similar-shaped keys from my pocket and was fumbling with them trying not to drop them. I was carrying a bunch of stuff, and I only had one hand free and was also leaning against the wall to support myself. The area was dimly lit and I couldn't clearly see the keys so I was trying to figure out which one was the key to the door. I got the correct key and slipped the other two back in my pocket.
I then, by no small feat of balance and dexterity, unlocked the door without dropping anything. I felt accomplished, and went through the door. The door opened into a stairwell that went back down to the first floor. The stairwell was metal and industrial-looking, and was painted a light brown color.
There were some people in the room; I remember a quiet but friendly young man about my age who had dark hair, a beard and a burly build. I walked down the stairs and into the interior of the building. Now that I've woken up, the layout of the building makes no sense to me...as I walked back into a room adjacent to the entry room, but on the first story. For some reason I had to go all around to get where I was going.
I got to the Why This Way meeting and I don't remember everyone who was there, but I remember that Katie was. I think Sylvia and Kelsey were too. The room was an interesting room; it was shaped like a quarter-circle, with a corner in one end and then a curved part, but it wasn't exactly curved so much as it was like a polygon with a whole bunch of sides approximating a curve. The sides each had a window in them that reached from the ceiling to about 2-3 feet off the floor, and the windows had venetian blinds in them. The room had white walls and was not particularly interesting looking; the lights were off and the room was illuminated by an ample amount of light coming in from outside. Outside the room was a parking lot.
I don't remember exactly what we talked about. At some point, we walked out the front of the building, through a double door on the ground floor that was made of glass panes in metal and looked like something out of a 50's suburban strip mall. We were then standing in the parking lot, and we noted two hang gliders fairly far off. We noticed an eagle in flight, and suddenly it started attacking one of pilots of one of the hang gliders. The glider started swerving...and it started heading towards us. It was flying erratically and I wasn't sure exactly where it was going to land but it looked like it might hit us. I panicked, and yelled that it might hit us, but no one else seemed concerned; I rushed inside because I didn't want to be hurt, and no one followed me. It turned out that the glider barely missed us, it flew just over the top of the building and crashed just behind it.
The rest of the dream is pretty vague. I don't remember much of it, although I remember that the dream was much longer and more detailed, and had many other parts to it. There was an extensive part set in the industrial-looking room with the stairwell, but I am blanking on it right now.
There's another dream fragment I remember and I'm not sure if it's part of the same dream or a different dream, but it involved me playing on a piano which was painted white, in a white room with gray carpet and no windows, and a bunch of kids. I don't really remember what was going on in this part of the dream, but I remember having some degree of tension with one man present, who was a music teacher, and feeling somewhat threatened by the man or that I wasn't welcome there.
I also remember a different dream fragment which I am pretty sure is from a different dream. It involved me playing with an orchestra on some electronic keyboard instrument which was able to play in different tuning systems. It was an unfamiliar instrument and I don't remember how I played it in the dream...it didn't look anything like a normal piano and the keys on it were very complex. I remember it was able to play 31-ET, 15-ET, 25-ET, and several tunings with higher divisions of the octave, but I remember being surprised that it was not able to play 22-ET. I remember that in this part of the dream, it was fall and there were rich fall colors outside. We were in a concert hall that had a rich, light-colored wooden panelling all about, and was very warm-colored and cozy. I remember there being violins present in the ensemble we were playing in.
I remember thinking that the college campus looked ugly and barren, in terms of the landscaping, much more so than I had remembered it as. There weren't that many trees and there were especially few flower beds or shrubs. The layout and look of the campus in the dream shared almost no resemblance to the way the college actually looks in real life, except that it was flat like Northeast Ohio, and that there were some buildings made of sandstone in the architecture of old buildings like Warner Gym.
There was a footbridge, a little like the one that crosses 38th street on Penn's campus, but it was much narrower and it just crossed over a small driveway, not a major road. I remember there being a pine tree or other similar tree overhanging this path.
I remember thinking that I was wondering whether or not I would find time to go birdwatching during college this time around, because when I went to Oberlin, I had not yet gotten into birding, and it's something that now takes up a lot of my time.
I went to my dorm, and I had a smart card that got me into the door. Interestingly, the door still had the old card swipe thing that I had used while at Oberlin, which was like a blast from the past, but in the dream it no longer worked and they had just left them up, and instead I held my card up to this plate to open the door.
I went inside and took the elevator to the 2nd floor. But the elevator seemed to pass two other floors on the way up. The elevator had glass walls and I could see into the lounges on the floors I passed. The elevator then opened up into a lounge and there were a lot of people around, and I started talking to some of them. I asked people if I was on the 2nd floor and they said yes...but then I said that I had seen the elevator pass two other floors on the way up...and I looked out the window and I looked high up, like I was actually on the fourth floor. I asked people if there were floors above the one I was on, and they said yes. But from the outside, the building had looked like it was only four stories high. I was confused and trying to figure out how this could be possible...I didn't stop to think that I was dreaming.
I found this dream interesting...I'm not quite sure what it symbolizes.
I think that my reaction to the landscaping may symbolize how, while I look back fondly on Oberlin, and miss many aspects of being in college, I wouldn't necessarily be happy going back into that same environment. I remember being antsy and discontent by the end of my time at Oberlin, perhaps even by my second year, and ready to move on to a new part of my life. Although I want back many elements of the college environment, I definitely don't believe that Oberlin college (or any college) is an ideal environment.
I also think that my thoughts and contemplations about balancing my interest in birdwatching with the rest of my life at Oberlin is a sign of greater self-awareness about my own limitations. When I was in college, I didn't feel like I was limited by the amount of hours in the day...in spite of how a lot of people describe college as hectic, busy, and stressful, that was not my experience. I found it was easy to manage my time and complete all my work. But now, living out in the "real world", I find that my time is more of a limiting factor than it even was in college, and I think this is because I have to expend much more time coordinating activities and travel just to get what I feel as my basic social needs met. I also think that travel time (whether by foot, bike, transit, or car) eats up a huge amount of my time that was never eaten up in this way during college, when I lived without a car on a compact, walkable campus and often biked from place to place.
I think I'm more aware of these limitations now than I was in the past--especially when I was at Oberlin. At Oberlin, I never really ran up against time constraints, I think because I was an efficient worker and also not a perfectionist.
I think the last part of the dream is more subtle. I think it relates to the fact that I've been thinking about how I approach strangers in public, especially when I enter into situations (like coming into a dorm before the scheduled beginning of orientation) where I'm not expected to or "supposed to" be there.
I also think that the reaction of the other people symbolizes a struggle that I often have in life, that I will think about things in life, and there will be something that doesn't jive...an apparent contradiction, or something that doesn't make sense to me, and often, other people around me will not only fail to see the contradiction, but fail to acknowledge it. I find it notable that in the dream, I didn't even feel the slightest bit of irritation, frustration, or anger...nor did I feel disconnected from or uncomfortable with the people. I often have some of these interactions...so perhaps this symbolizes that I'm growing in ways that I see these sorts of reactions, which deny my experience or fail to acknowledge my observations or reasoning, as more natural and not grounds for me feeling defensive or disconnecting myself from people.
I think this growth will ultimately be helpful because I think when I stay in a positive emotional state, I can ultimately be more persistent and persuasive, instead of either withdrawing or giving up, or expressing irritation or anger which can cause the other people to become defensive or close off.
- Current Music:J.S. Bach - Well Tempered Klavier, Book 2
I think that the way the ship's technology created a setup where matter and energy were so fluid, is a sign that the dream wasn't set in the physical world, but was perhaps set in a more spiritual setting, and the physical environment of the dream was more symbolic, not to be interpreted as literal reality.
I also found the role of the ship's computer interesting. The ship's computer, in the dream, was almost omniscient, sort of like a God-like figure, and especially with respect to my purpose in the dream--it was able to not only answer my questions about small details, but it was able to tell me what my assignment or purpose or responsibilities were, and it was also able to tell me how to achieve them, and even aid me in doing so. This is kind of a big deal. I don't think I've ever had a dream before that had any sort of figure that played that role. I also think it was interesting that the ship's computer was everywhere, and that I was able to access it merely by speaking to it.
I also think that there was a big breakthrough and difference in my attitude and feelings between the first part of the dream and the second, after I realized that I could ask the ship's computer for help. In the first part of the dream, I felt lost and overwhelmed...I felt like I had a role or purpose to fulfil, but I didn't know exactly what it was or how to do it or even where I needed to be in order to do it. I also felt confused by the setup of the ship, and I felt trapped in a small part of the ship where I didn't want to be, and unsure of how to navigate around the ship. Furthermore, I felt like I was being held back or blocked by this large crowd of people waiting for the turbolift, and I felt like they were more knowledgeable and experienced than me, in the ship's operations and their own duties, and I felt like I needed to wait in line for them to use the turbolift first, because I was a new and low-ranking member of the crew and I also didn't know what I was doing.
In the second part of the dream though, I find it interesting that there weren't many people around. I think this part of the dream was set later in time, it was like I had already waited for the people to clear, and I wasn't in a hurry. And there weren't as many people around but it didn't matter because I ended up interacting with the few people I needed to. In this part of the dream, it wasn't like all my problems were solved or everything was totally straightforward--it was actually quite strange and bizarre--but I felt like I was moving through things in a good way.
I feel like this dream is sort of about some sort of spiritual development or mindset or something, and I think it has something to do with my idea of God but I can't exactly pin it down. I think the idea of asking the computer for help has something to do with a way of approaching things that I think is really positive and useful, but I don't think it's as simple as the computer representing God or asking it representing prayer or asking God directly.
I remember setting out to find where I was going. I remember feeling confused and bewildered, not knowing where to go or how to get there. I walked around a lot. There is a lot to the dream that I don't remember. Eventually, I got to a part of the ship that included a school. The ship was really different from how it was in Star Trek: TNG. It was like...more big and spacious and more like the outside world. In the dream, this was achieved by some combination of like, a holodeck and other matter-energy transformation technologies, which in the dream, were more advanced than they were in the normal Star Trek universe.
Anyway, I was walking through the school area, and I looked outdoors (there was a simulated outdoor area) and there were a lot of college students walking about. I was trying to find a turbolift because I knew I wasn't on the right level of the ship, and I needed a turbolift to get to where I was going. I think that where I was going was either on the highest deck or the lowest deck--it shifted based on which part of the dream it was in.
Anyway, I found a door that I thought was the turbolift, and it looked to be the only one in the area, but the door was closed and there was a long line of people gathered around it, and I wasn't even sure if that was what it was. I asked the person near the door if it was a turbolift and they said yes, and then I asked if they were waiting for the turbolift and they said yes, so I went to the back of the line because I didn't want to be inconsiderate of them.
But then I woke up. What's weird is that I went back to sleep, and I went back into the dream. I'm pretty sure I actually woke up too, and got out of bed.
Anyway, when I re-entered the dream (from real waking or dream waking, I'm not 100% sure), I was back in the entryway to the school area, before where I encountered the turbolift. I remmeber having a key idea, like a realization, that would help me--the realization was that I could ask the ship's computer where I was going, and that because the computer was very advanced and intelligent and knowledgeable, that it would be able to instruct me in where to go. There were fewer people in the area this time, and no one was waiting in line for the turbolift, so I went to it and went inside.
Inside, I asked the ship's computer where I was assigned to go, and it told me. It was a deck, designated B1, which was like "basement", and it meant it was the lowest deck on the ship, one deck below the "normal" decks. So I told the turbolift to take me to B1, and it did. But like, I got to B1 and I was in the area where I was supposed to perform my job, and there was like this thing.
So in the dream there was this technology that enabled two areas to like, merge in matter and energy...temporarily. So like, for example, there could be two people working in two different rooms, and they could merge the two rooms and then like, interact as if they were in the same room, and the interactions would be real. Anyway, I was interacting with this guy who had merged the room he was in with the room I was in, for some reason. And at some point, he disengaged the merge of rooms, and it was weird to watch what happened. Most of the stuff we had been working on either neatly fit into his room, or into mine, but there was something in the middle and I watched as the system like, oddly untwined the matter held in this intermediate area and put stuff back in his room that belonged there, and stuff that belonged in my room into mine. It was really weird to watch.
Anyway, that was the dream. I feel like this summary doesn't really do it justice, I feel like the longest, most involved parts of the dreams were not parts I remember clearly, like the first two paragraphs or so. There were huge amounts of detail that I think I just sort of forgot or didn't remember clearly, but I thought the dream was really interesting and wanted to write it down anyway.